Our parenting philosophy for both the the real and furry babies.

Most people know that Matt and I volunteer for Guide Dogs for the Blind, Inc. My mom and I got involved with this organization in 1996 and started puppy raising. The idea is to take a puppy from 8-12 weeks old and to teach socialization, house manners and basic obedience during that first year. These days, Matt and I don't have our own puppy all the time, but we puppy sit for other raisers if they need a break or are going on vacation. Someday, we'll get back into the game, but for right now two toddlers is plenty!
Parenting is definitely a new adventure, as first time parents we want "to do everything right". In my heart I know that's not possible, all parents make mistakes. So, our revised goal is to try and do the best we can with the knowledge we have. Recently, I've noticed that we bring a lot of the principles of puppy raising to our child raising approach.

1. What is cute as a puppy is NOT so cute as a huge dog. For example, isn't it cute when your little puppy jumps in your lap and starts biting at your hands?? Perhaps, but things become less cute when your 90 pound dog tries to the same thing.
We don't have many rules for our children at this point, but we do have a few. There is "no standing" on furniture or in the bath tub. My way of thinking is: If I won't let a little kid stand on my couch, I'm not going to let my baby. I'm sure this philosophy will come in very handy when they are older, especially with some of the things they might say...

2. Positive reinforcement. When I first started raising in 1996 we used a mixture of positive and negative reinforcement. Over time we've increased the positive and dwindled the negative. You'd be surprised how much faster a dog learns when doing the "right" thing results in a positive reward!
As far as children go, Matt and I think we should praise more often than scold. Which means it's important to provide as much opportunity to praise....this will all make sense when you read the next philosophy.

3. Set yourself up for success. This is probably my favorite guideline for raising a guide dog puppy. It just makes so much sense! Know your limitations, for example: Taking an eight week old puppy on an hour long shopping trip is not very realistic. It's essential to start with short trips that a puppy will be able to handle at that age and build up to longer outings (with more distractions) as they get older. This way, your puppy is having more positive experiences than negative.
When I was in college and working as a server it would drive me crazy when families with small children would come in and want to eat and chat for hours. After about an hour most kids have met their limit of sitting still and being good. Surprisingly, the parents wouldn't understand why their kid was acting out and getting very frustrated (both parent and child). This could have been an opportunity for praising a child for having good behavior, but instead it becomes a big mess. Lesson: If you want to go to a restaurant to catch up for hours with old friends, find a babysitter.
The major difference is that with a puppy, you can leave them home. Not necessarily the best idea with a baby. So, I think it's important to interact with your child to make the experience (whatever it may be) pleasant, so you can praise for good behavior. When we go to the doctor I know to bring books, so we can read together while waiting (Ella loves to read!). At the grocery store I try to show them interesting things in the store, or the pretty colors of the food- more in an effort to distract them from the fact that they are restrained and can't really touch anything. Then, I tell them how good they are at every opportunity. I don't know if they understand at this point, but at least I'm working on training myself.


4. Know what you're owed. Yep, I'm talking about poop. When taking a puppy into public it's important they don't "do their business" in a store. Not only is it embarrassing for you, but it's looks bad on the organization. Generally, if the dog is being fed at the same time daily they should get into a bathroom routine and need to go at the same time everyday. So, if you know you are owed a morning poop and you haven't gotten it......don't go into public and start stimulating things by walking around (this might also go hand in hand with setting yourself up for success).
As far as kids go, this might not be a behavioral issue as much as a health issue. Just last week, Bradley went 36 hours without going number 2. This was highly unusual, so I made a mental note. Turns out he was fine, but if something had really been wrong it would have been useful information for the doctor.

The rules are the same wherever you go. Every 3 months during puppy raising we trade puppies. This helps them to understand that the rules are the same in every house. So, it's important that all puppy raisers are on the same page, so we can teach the puppies that you can't jump on the bed at their house either.
We probably won't be trading our kids, but we can teach them that they can't stand on the couch at Grandpa's house either. Not only do Matt and I need to be in sync, but we need to be comfortable telling our families (and trusting they'll follow through) our rules. I'm a big believer that it takes a community to raise a child.

I'm sure as we gain more parenting experience we will adapt our style, but for now it's fun to see how many puppy raising techniques are useful for children too.

Brellas turn 1!!!

Happy Birthday to my darling Ella and Bradley!! Their actual birthday was kinda boring and probably not the best day for them. We started with a trip to the doctor for a check up and some shots. I know, best mom ever for scheduling shots on their birthday. Luckily my babies are troopers and didn't mind much.
Next we skipped our nap to have pictures taken.......big mistake. Ella was in an "okay" mood, but not Bradley- he cried almost the entire time. Our photographer is awesome and suggested we try another day at NO CHARGE!!!

So cute!

Cranky guy!

I can clap.

See how cute I am?

Originally, I had planned to make them cupcakes the day before and we would have a little family celebration and watch them attempt to eat a nice treat. Yeah, well, that didn't happen. We just had a nice quiet evening at home and went to bed early!

That Sunday we had a party to celebrate their birthday along with two of their cousins (there are 6 birthdays in a 5 weeks time span). I was super excited for the cupcake portion of the party. Ella loved her's, but Bradley- not so much. He hardly ate any of it, then the next week at his cousin Shane's party he chowed down on cake. Apparently Amanda makes better dessert!

Tyler with the coolest gift ever!!

Mmmmm, cake!

"You want me to do what?"

The birthday girls, Marissa and Ella

Bradley likes his blanket

"First Time!!"

A few months ago Ella learned how to close the lid on her toy laptop. She was so proud of herself. She'd let you open it and then she would shut it with such enthusiasm and then look at you for approval. So cute. She started this one afternoon and we played this game for almost an hour.
The next afternoon Matt was playing with the babies and said, "Laura, look what I taught Ella to do!". Sure enough she was closing the laptop. I felt bad, but I told him she had started it the day before (I left out the part where I had actually taught her). I could tell he was disappointed, it must be hard to miss so many "firsts" because he is at work.
That's when I started lying. The next few times he thought he was witnessing something new, I would say "That's the first time". He figured me out pretty quickly and we laughed. So, now whenever anyone thinks the babies are doing something for the first time we shout, "First time!!!" and everyone laughs.
Since I am with them 99.9% of the time I usually do get to witness the first time experiences- until this week. The other day Bradley was playing with his race car toy that spins around and shoots the cars out. He was then picking up the car and putting it back on the spinny thing. I was so excited, I called Matt to tell him about our little man's accomplishment. Let's just say I was surprised to hear a big "First time!!!".

2010

It comes as no shock to anyone if I say 2010 was the best year ever!! My beautiful babies were born and I landed my dream job (being a stay-at-home mommy)! I'm very excited to see what 2011 holds.

Our resolutions for 2011:

Matt:
- Go to Mass
- Lose 20 lbs (he'll accomplish this- he loses weight very quickly. We all hate him)

Laura:
- Eat more vegetables
- Reduce monthly food budget (this has actually been really fun so far, I am officially a couponer!)
- Stick to house cleaning schedule (our house was so clean before we had babies)

Here's to another great year!

Personality...

One of my favorite things to do is just watch. I like to watch the babies interact with everyone, especially each other. Their personalities pour out of them when they are together. Bradley is very assertive and adventurous. Ella is much more laid back and curious.
Today, before their nap we were playing in their room and they both wanted to see their new walking toy (I divided the Christmas toys up so I could rotate them when they seemed bored). Ella was carefully inspecting some of the parts that move and Bradley just pushed her out of the way! You'd think Ella would get upset or fight back, but she's not that kind of girl. She just finds something else to look at.
When Bradley started crawling he quickly learned he could steal whatever toy Ella had and run away with it. Since she wasn't mobile she figured out if she held the toy above her head he couldn't reach it. Bradley would get so frustrated and start looking at me like, "Well, aren't you going to get it from her?
I can't wait for them to start "talking" to each other on a regular basis. I keep hearing stories about twins that have their own language. So far they don't really acknowledge the other one unless the have too. Maybe because they are boy/girl they won't have the same bond as other twins. I can't wait to find out!

Pulling up!!

Although this milestone happened weeks ago, I thought I would devote an entry to it anyway. Here's the scene: Matt and I are sitting on the couch watching Bradley try to play with the toys on his walker (keep in mind he wasn't in the walker, but on the floor next to it). He was sitting on the floor and all of a sudden grabbed the tray and up he went. Matt and I were so excited, but didn't want to scare or distract him with screaming, instead we were flailing our arms around (mostly me, I was trying to motion for him to get me the camera). I was able to get a couple good shots and we are so proud our little man!

Ella was sleeping during Bradley's triumph, but we think he must have used his twin telepathy to let her know he was one step ahead. The next morning (when Bradley was napping) I had just finished folding laundry, I looked over and Ella was standing!! I couldn't believe it! I grabbed the camera and took pictures for about 10 minutes, just enough time for her to unfold all the laundry. We are so proud of our baby girl!

Do lions eat giraffes??

This Halloween the most asked question in our family was "Don't lions eat giraffes?". Luckily for us our lion didn't eat our giraffe.