Most people know that Matt and I volunteer for Guide Dogs for the Blind, Inc. My mom and I got involved with this organization in 1996 and started puppy raising. The idea is to take a puppy from 8-12 weeks old and to teach socialization, house manners and basic obedience during that first year. These days, Matt and I don't have our own puppy all the time, but we puppy sit for other raisers if they need a break or are going on vacation. Someday, we'll get back into the game, but for right now two toddlers is plenty!
Parenting is definitely a new adventure, as first time parents we want "to do everything right". In my heart I know that's not possible, all parents make mistakes. So, our revised goal is to try and do the best we can with the knowledge we have. Recently, I've noticed that we bring a lot of the principles of puppy raising to our child raising approach.
1. What is cute as a puppy is NOT so cute as a huge dog. For example, isn't it cute when your little puppy jumps in your lap and starts biting at your hands?? Perhaps, but things become less cute when your 90 pound dog tries to the same thing.
We don't have many rules for our children at this point, but we do have a few. There is "no standing" on furniture or in the bath tub. My way of thinking is: If I won't let a little kid stand on my couch, I'm not going to let my baby. I'm sure this philosophy will come in very handy when they are older, especially with some of the things they might say...
2. Positive reinforcement. When I first started raising in 1996 we used a mixture of positive and negative reinforcement. Over time we've increased the positive and dwindled the negative. You'd be surprised how much faster a dog learns when doing the "right" thing results in a positive reward!
As far as children go, Matt and I think we should praise more often than scold. Which means it's important to provide as much opportunity to praise....this will all make sense when you read the next philosophy.
3. Set yourself up for success. This is probably my favorite guideline for raising a guide dog puppy. It just makes so much sense! Know your limitations, for example: Taking an eight week old puppy on an hour long shopping trip is not very realistic. It's essential to start with short trips that a puppy will be able to handle at that age and build up to longer outings (with more distractions) as they get older. This way, your puppy is having more positive experiences than negative.
When I was in college and working as a server it would drive me crazy when families with small children would come in and want to eat and chat for hours. After about an hour most kids have met their limit of sitting still and being good. Surprisingly, the parents wouldn't understand why their kid was acting out and getting very frustrated (both parent and child). This could have been an opportunity for praising a child for having good behavior, but instead it becomes a big mess. Lesson: If you want to go to a restaurant to catch up for hours with old friends, find a babysitter.
The major difference is that with a puppy, you can leave them home. Not necessarily the best idea with a baby. So, I think it's important to interact with your child to make the experience (whatever it may be) pleasant, so you can praise for good behavior. When we go to the doctor I know to bring books, so we can read together while waiting (Ella loves to read!). At the grocery store I try to show them interesting things in the store, or the pretty colors of the food- more in an effort to distract them from the fact that they are restrained and can't really touch anything. Then, I tell them how good they are at every opportunity. I don't know if they understand at this point, but at least I'm working on training myself.
4. Know what you're owed. Yep, I'm talking about poop. When taking a puppy into public it's important they don't "do their business" in a store. Not only is it embarrassing for you, but it's looks bad on the organization. Generally, if the dog is being fed at the same time daily they should get into a bathroom routine and need to go at the same time everyday. So, if you know you are owed a morning poop and you haven't gotten it......don't go into public and start stimulating things by walking around (this might also go hand in hand with setting yourself up for success).
As far as kids go, this might not be a behavioral issue as much as a health issue. Just last week, Bradley went 36 hours without going number 2. This was highly unusual, so I made a mental note. Turns out he was fine, but if something had really been wrong it would have been useful information for the doctor.
The rules are the same wherever you go. Every 3 months during puppy raising we trade puppies. This helps them to understand that the rules are the same in every house. So, it's important that all puppy raisers are on the same page, so we can teach the puppies that you can't jump on the bed at their house either.
We probably won't be trading our kids, but we can teach them that they can't stand on the couch at Grandpa's house either. Not only do Matt and I need to be in sync, but we need to be comfortable telling our families (and trusting they'll follow through) our rules. I'm a big believer that it takes a community to raise a child.
I'm sure as we gain more parenting experience we will adapt our style, but for now it's fun to see how many puppy raising techniques are useful for children too.
